We’ve all been there – saying yes to a late work email, agreeing to a family event we’re dreading or feeling drained after a social gathering we didn’t want to attend. It adds up. The truth is, though, without clear boundaries, our time, energy and emotional space get used up fast – often leaving little left for what actually matters.

MENTOR Mindfulness Curriculum Coordinator Emily Hornsby says setting boundaries isn’t about being cold or selfish. It’s about self-respect.

“It’s a rewarding feeling to be there for friends, loved ones and coworkers,” Emily says. “But, without proper boundaries, we can slip into a state of being spread too thin. By practicing the power of saying no, we can establish time and space for self-care, which empowers us to be fully present in all situations. You can’t fill up someone else’s bucket if yours is empty.”

Boundaries Build Over Time

The more you practice, the easier it gets. The first “no” may feel scary. The second might feel awkward. But eventually, it starts to feel like relief. And you’ll find your energy, time and attention start flowing toward the people, places and projects that truly matter.

Below are some scenarios to illustrate how to set healthy boundaries. Emily suggests utilizing these responses to protect your peace.

Social Invites: You Don’t Have to Say Yes Every Time

Scenario: You’re invited to a friend’s birthday dinner, but you’ve had a long week and need downtime.

What you might feel: Guilt, fear of missing out or pressure to show up so you’re not seen as rude.

Try this (firm):
“Thanks so much for the invite. I’m not able to make it, but I hope it’s a great time!”

Try this (softer):
“I’d love to celebrate another time. I’ve had a packed week and need a quiet night in to recharge.”

Why it matters: Every “yes” costs something. Saying “no” creates space for rest, reflection or quality time with people you truly want to be around.

Work Requests: Protecting Your Off-Hours

Scenario: A colleague sends you a non-urgent task on Friday evening, asking if you can handle it over the weekend.

What you might feel: Pressure to be a team player or fear of falling behind.

Try this (firm):
“I’ll take a look first thing Monday morning. I’m offline for the weekend.”

Try this (softer):
“I’m unplugging this weekend to rest and reset – happy to jump in on Monday.”

Why it matters: Boundaries at work don’t mean slacking – they mean sustainability. Protecting your personal time helps prevent burnout and keeps your performance sharp.

Family Dynamics: Saying No with Care

Scenario: A family member often vents to you for hours, leaving you emotionally drained.

What you might feel: Obligation, guilt or worry about hurting their feelings.

Try this (firm):
“I care about you, but I can’t talk right now. Let’s check in another time.”

Try this (softer):
“I want to be here for you, but I’m low on emotional energy right now. Can we talk tomorrow instead?”

Why it matters: You can care about someone and still have limits. Emotional availability is a limited resource – respecting it allows you to show up more fully when you can.

Reflection Questions & Journaling Prompt

• When was the last time I said “yes” when I really wanted to say “no”?
• What small boundary can I try setting this week – to protect my time, energy or emotions?
• How do I feel when others set boundaries with me?
• What would it look like to treat my energy like a limited resource?

Takeaways:

• Boundaries are a form of self-respect, not selfishness.
• Practicing “no” creates more room for what matters most.
• Saying no gets easier with time, consistency and support.
• Start small. Your well-being is worth it!