Parenting is a challenge with any child. With children with special needs, the challenges become much greater, which is why it is important to find mentors and support persons or groups if at all possible. One of the most difficult lessons that I learned as a young parent of a child with special needs is that information does not come to you readily - you have to go out and find it. Now again, searching today is much easier because of the Internet and the vast amount of data to be found on the Web. However, even with that resource, if you don't know what you are searching for, you will be hard-pressed to obtain the information that you need. And the Internet will only take you so far.

No computer is going to tell you which special ed teacher works well to create an atmosphere of inclusion, or which speech therapist will go the extra mile and work during the summer months to keep programs going for kids so they don't lose ground during school vacation months. Neither will the Internet comfort you when you have gotten one more negative report from someone about something. But other parents or professionals who work with these populations will.

Many parents are so overwhelmed with the diagnosis, fear of the unknown, and juggling multiple responsibilities that they struggle to learn about the world of children and families with special needs. So reaching out to support structures of experienced parents or professionals in the field can be immensely helpful. Often they also find a logical play group for their child and social structure for the parents - sort of like that old saying, "Birds of a feather flock together." It is very helpful to be able to speak directly with the parent of another child with Down syndrome, muscular dystrophy, or cerebral palsy who understands directly what you are experiencing. Being willing to ask for help and support is one of the most important tools you can acquire, because then when you acquire expertise, you can turn around and share it with others.

Locating these supports, however, may be a challenge. Again, it goes back to not knowing where to look or who to ask - you don't know what you don't know! Some logical resources for such information include your pediatrician or nurse practitioner, social workers, physical, occupational, or speech therapists, early intervention service providers, or diagnosis-based organizations such as United Cerebral Palsy (UCP Link), for example. If your infant spent time in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, they often have parent support groups. Local health departments and social service agencies are another good resource as are United Way Agencies (United Way Link). Some of my dearest friends are other parents of kids with special needs, who had it not been for Nick's disability I probably never would have met, nor would my life have been so enriched.

Above all look for the support and, within that search, for people who actually have knowledge about what you are going through. I found that although I come from a large and loving family, because no one else had a child with special needs, that family members had as many questions as I had. What I really needed was to find people who had some answers, practical experience and suggestions. You often also find, as a by-product, friendship that will extend to swapping babysitting or willingness to vacation together or many other such "perks".