Novi is a pleasant suburban area about 20 miles from downtown Detroit. A number of years ago, it built a beautiful community center. Shortly after its opening, one of the staff started a group for persons from the surrounding area who had developmental disabilities or other special needs. It is called the Novi Friendship Club. The purpose was just that, to foster friendships, engage the members in all sorts of fun activities and solicit support from various community organizations like the Optimist Club (Optimist International Link). Suffice it to say that Nick has been a member of long standing and loves the group for many reasons - not the least of which is that is where he met his girlfriend, Andrea.
Nick and Andrea had been acquainted on and off while growing up, as it seems that kids with special needs and their families run in similar circles. However, Andrea and her family had also lived in other places at various points in time. Well, one day, Nick came home from a Friendship Club event and told me he had met a girlfriend and he wanted to take her out on a date. We talked about what he wanted to do (go to a movie), when he wanted to go (the next weekend) and how they would get there ("I can drive her, Mom!"). So, after a brief chat with the young woman's mother, off they went on their first date. They continued to see each other at Friendship Club events, visits or parties with friends, joined in Special Olympic (SOI Link) activities and generally spent more and more time together.
In the meantime, I am sure that Nick was getting date coaching from his friend Pete, who invited him on several occasions to spend the weekend in his college dorm with himself and his roommate. Although I was often apprehensive about these outings, I knew that it was in Nick's best interest to learn some of his life lessons from his buddies and not just from his mother, and thus I let him go.
Balance in any life is a very important skill to acquire. As the parent of a child with a disability, it was a special kind of balancing act between activities which were very focused on the disability versus those that were just plain healthy and normative. So I am much indebted (I think) to Nick's friend Pete, who took him to college parties, where I am sure they had a beer or two. Who took him cruising in his vintage Cougar in Florida when Nick went there to visit Pete's family, and who asked Nick to be a groomsman in his wedding and who responded when I thanked him for that, "Why wouldn't I? Nick is one of my best buddies."
So, Nick has had a very pleasant and normal social life. He has traveled with friends, participated in sports through Special Olympics, and always been included in any family function. In addition, that cute girl that he met at the Novi Friendship Club and took to the movies is now his live-in partner. Nick and Andrea have been together for about 10 years and seem very content in their relationship. She has Tourette's Syndrome and some minor learning problems, yet it is amazing to see how complementary they are in their skill sets. For example, he drives; she does not. She reads quite well; he does not. They both take a stab at cooking and Andrea is learning to be quite a good baker. So although challenges continue to present themselves for them, as they do for any couple, they and all who surround them are blessed by their living example of kindness, love, support, and of course friendship.