The third program component centered on medications to reduce and control pain. As mentioned earlier, lidocaine helped take the edge off the pain. However, since lidocaine is an anesthetic, and since the oral form doesn't discriminate on what part of the body it acts on, it proceeded to numb my mind and senses. My food tasted bland, my mouth was bone-dry, my emotions seemed muted, and my mind often slipped in and out of reality.

This medicated mental and emotional "fog" did not serve me well either at work or at school. New concepts were hard to grasp. Things often felt surreal and I no longer felt like "myself." But the medication took the edge off the pain somewhat and allowed me to tolerate the daily exercise sessions, which were a critical part of the program. Therefore, I was willing to tolerate the side effects.

After a few months, Dr. Galer added an anti-depressant called paroxetine hydrochloride (Paxil?) to the drug regimen. In addition to improving my mood, it also had a pain-reducing effect. However, it made me groggier. Neither Paxil nor Lidocaine completely stopped the pain or the flare-ups, but they did help reduce the pain to a more manageable level.